This Post is featured on the link give below-
Heartily Thank you for find me inspiration for women society
| |||
| |||
Harshita Dawar
सीमित
सीमाएं सीमित हों सकती है
पर औरत किसी सीमा की मोहताज नहीं हैं, सांसारिक बंधनों से मुक्त हों सकती हैं
लांघ लेती है घर की दहलीज अनेकों रूप में ढल जाती है..
सीमित रहने वाले सीमा हमें ना सीखाया करो, सीमा सुरक्षा में सीमित रह कर हम पर ऊँगली ना उठाया करो, हम तोड़ देती हैं नग्न नज़रों को परछाई भी जो पड़े खुद की इज्ज़त पर..
कर सकती हैं वो हर हाल में प्रहार कम न आंको नारी के हौसलों को वो मां बन कर दुनियां की पालनहार कहलाती है..
ह्रदय में स्नेह, ममता मई रूह है, ठान लिया कोई इरादा तो पूरवार खुद को करती है, बाक़ी रह गया तो मत समझना बेचारी अबला बन कर जन्मी है..
औरत के हर रूप को पूजते हो, औरत ही लाई है परिवार में खुशियां और उसका ही मज़ाक बनाकर दुनियां के सामने रखते हो..
क्या खूब मर्दानी बताई है जीवन काल की हर परिस्थिति में साथ चलती आई
पर चुटकले में हर बार औरत ही क्यूं नज़र आई, हर मुंह पर मां बहन की गाली में क्यूं उछलती आई..
हवस की नज़रों में आंखो में हजारों बार अपने को कितना बचाती आई, औरत की मर्यादा को सर्वोपरि सा निर्माता बनाती आई, पर जब समझ आयेगा इन झूठे वादों में औरत के पक्के इरादों में वो हर बात समझ पाई..
कोई बोले ना बोले नज़रों को गंदी सोच को निर्मोही रिश्तो को बखूबी समझती आई, दिखावा रिश्तेदारी वाला, मुनाफा गुणगान करते झूठे वादे किस्से हो या कोई बद इरादे नारी सब समझ पाई है..
तो न समझो अबला बेचारी वाले तमगे जो टैग दिए ये वापिस अपने पर ले लेना यही समझाने है आई अकेली ही ढ़हते मकान को घर बनाने की हिम्मत साथ में ले आई..
समझा-समझा कर हारी जानें समाज को कब समझ आयेगा ये हर बार मर्दाना समाज वाला टैग अब हटाने की बारी आई है।
What are some racial misconceptions / ignorant remarks people have made at you, about your culture or your identity?
Why society never accepts that divorce is better than death to the woman?
Why women judge from their outfits and shades of lipsticks?
Why she can’t enjoy her life because she is female?
Why female always being judge with the time duration at work?
If a woman wants to be single, divorced, adopt a child or not became a mother or be a single mother or wants to mingle, why can’t it be her own choice? Why must society dictate everything?
If someones marriage is unsuccessful, who do people tell that woman to have a child, rather than allow her to get a divorce and live peacefully separately.
Why people think if their son is not listening to us, then go for marriage for change the mind-set and stability? Is a woman a man’s habitation centre?
Background
Let me introduce myself and my life. Myself Harshita, we are 3 sisters, I am on second number among us. My childhood was spent in a joint family, where my grandparents, my father and his further three brothers followed by their wives and kids lived together. Accordingly my mother was the elder daughter in-law of the family, for the sake of God only my mother was blessed with 3 daughters rather than anyone else. As everywhere else in India, our family also had the same chronic mental disease of thoughts, that the boys are superior than girls. My grandmother used to torcher my mother for being a mother of daughters rather than giving birth to any son. She told my mother not to confront any other pregnant women in the family or my mother’s bad fortune of giving birth to daughters might become the curse for them too. (teri betiya hoti hai apni kis bhi devarani se baat mat karna na uske samne ana jab bhi vo pregnant ho).
Before Marriage, my mother was working as principal in Meerut University. When she was getting married, she faced many problems. My dad also used to blame my mom only (betiyo ko public school me tumne dala hai khud fees do). My mum was taking home tuitions, to fulfil our school fee. We used to see my mum exploited in front of everyone.
My roka (engagement) was fixed when I was just in 11 class, with the boy who was taking home tuitions that time from my mother. And because we are 3 sisters and belongs to orthodox family my mother had the same mindset (ghar bethe rishta aa gaya hai thik hai vese bhi 2 betiya ur bhi hai,). I was getting married before my elder sister got married.
In between I completed my studies and my fashion designing course along with computer course because my mother always believe that girls have to stand on their feet. I was getting married on 19 Jan 2004. After 15 days we got separated from my in-laws, with no money but I carry all my stuff which was given in my marriage because I have 4 sister in-laws, and they interfere very much.
I faced many financial problems. They also used to give medicine for giving birth to baby boy. I am anaemic, I faced many problems during pregnancy. They did not allow me to meet my parents or talk even. Because I was staying with my in-laws due to complications when I was 5 months pregnant. My mum used to call on the landline phone but, I couldn’t talk properly in front of them. On 3 September my barbie Bhumika was born.
When I got to know a baby girl was born I got so worried about how they will react now. Because I already saw the prejudice in my own family too. When I transfer to normal room I see all the reaction and they are not happy. I take my daughter and get back to in-laws home because my husband told me you don’t know how to care for a baby so stay till namkarn (naming of baby). After 21st day complete and the namkaran was done I decided I want to go back home.
I didn’t want to be exploited emotionally anymore. Whatever my parents can do for me that is not enough for my in-laws, they want more things and expected more expensive gifts. When I went back to my in-law’s house, my husband didn’t even tell them. Then I decided to start and visit my parents’ home because my in-laws’ make my mind so negative because of negative environment. In between this, there was so much fights for financial problem going on. My husband used to work in call centre and night duties are always there. I am the only one who take of my child every day and night. My husband used to sleep in day time and work in night time.
I decided when my daughter is 2.5 years, that I will start doing job now, and my mother will take care of my daughter Bhumika. Then also I used to be so loyal to my hubby. I give my ATM card to my husband, and when I ask for money, he starts fighting with me. We lived in rented house, and I got fed up of having to change again and again. He told me to get money from my parents, so we can buy our own home. Instead I decided to take home loan. I also sold the gold jewellery set my parents gave me during my marriage, for down payment of home. Even though we had a home loan, still so much financial problems were there .
In 2012 hubby planned and decide with his cousin to go to New Zealand. I got to know when all things done and he have no money for a ticket. I had to ask my parents to give money. Then he left with the wind without any family financial planning, and now me and my daughter faced all those problems. When he left, I got to know he had taken one personal loan from Axis Bank, without paying any instalments, and now police came at my place and ask about my husband.
In between, he visited only once in a year. Me and my daughter Bhumika went to New Zealand for 8 months. But he couldn’t afford us. I try to adjust with him, tried to compromise all the time, but it can’t workout so he decided to send us back to India. He came back in 2016 and said he came back for the family. He didn’t have enough money to apply for the permanent residence of New Zealand that’s why he came back.
When he came back, he used to beat me. He became drug addicted, drinker, smoker, womanizer. He used to exploit me mentally, emotionally and physically. My daughter used to tell me, “mom all my teacher’s write my father’s name on the certificates, now I will tell the teacher’s to write my mother’s name. She is only 13 years.
But I never backed off from my responsibilities, as I owed it to my daughter, I even took care of the house. On 10 November, 2018 he informed the family that his office is sending him for 3 months to Australia. But after 2 days we received notice that he is in New Zealand. He is a coward man. He ran away from his responsibilities. My barbie, Bhumika is now 13 years. She and me are a family. She is my strength, my power. I am fighting and living for her.
Broken Englizh Translation
Limited
She may be limited
but a woman is not bound by
any limits. She can be free
from worldly shackles.
If a woman crosses the threshold of the house,
she gets moulded in many forms..
Those who remain limited,
don’t teach us. They don’t point
fingers at us by being limited
in their own borders. We break
even the shadow of naked
eyes that falls on our own honour..
She can do it in any case.
Don’t underestimate the
spirits of a woman. She is
called the nurturer of the world,
by becoming a mother.
There is love in the heart.
and mamta (mother’s love) in the soul.
If an intention is determined,
She benevolently does it herself.
What is left is to understand is that the
poor woman is born as a blasphemy..
You worship every form of a
woman- only woman has
brought happiness and togetherness in the family
and you insult her in front of the world by making fun of her.
All that is said to be achieved intellectually,
is given credit to a man.
But why every time only a woman
appears in jokes. Why does every insult
have somebodies mother or sister in it.
She is only seen in the eyes of lust.
She saves herself from these eyes
thousands of times, to keep her dignity as the
paramount goal.
No one spoke or said anything,
But the eyes understood the dirty
thinking very well. The cruel relationship-
the one with the pretence love,
the false promises,
the woman has understood everything..
So don’t think that you should take back the tag given to you
poor poor people.
Know defeat by explaining
and understanding, when the
society will understand, it is
time to remove the tag of masculine society every time.
Thank you can follow me on
Youtube Channel -
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCftKBW-T-nVjSQ3ir58uIdg
https://www.facebook.com/harshita.dawar
you can read my all seven E- books published on Amazon Kindle link-
with all volumes available
जज्बात-ए-हर्षिता: प्रेरक कविताओं का संग्रह (Volume Book 1) (Hindi Edition) https://www.amazon.in/dp/
जज़्बात-ए-हर्षिता: प्रेरक कविताओं का संग्रह (Volume Book 3) (Hindi Edition) https://www.amazon.in/dp/
जज़्बात-ए-हर्षिता: प्रेरक कविताओ का सग्रह (Volume Book 4) (Hindi Edition) https://www.amazon.in/dp/
हर्षिता का शायराना आगाज़ (Volume Book 1) (Hindi Edition)
https://www.amazon.in/dp/
हर्षिता का शायराना आगाज़ (Volume Book 2) (Hindi Edition)
https://www.amazon.in/dp/
Comments
Post a Comment